Are people taking advantage of your easy-going personality?

That’s it.  Once and for all.  I’ve decided, and I will stick to this decision.  I am absolutely sick and tired of some people taking advantage of my mostly easy-going way of living life.  This was me, talking to myself, not long ago, after being disrespected by someone I describe as a “me-monster” (self-absorbed, narcissistic).  I began using this term and even wrote about it in my book, Joyful Soul: A Promise Worthy of Trust, after hearing comedian Brian Regan discuss those who in social situations take over the conversation because, as he puts it, “it’s all about MEEEEEEEE.”

I make it a point to think well of others, give them the benefit of the doubt, and be respectful of them in general.  But I have a very hard time with double-standards.  And if you don’t respect me, don’t expect me to treat you with respect, either.  Yet I have that “nice girl” syndrome going on.  I have given up on thinking everyone needs to like me.  I just don’t care about that at all.  And I love feeling this way!  However, I have a strong spiritual and Christian core, and I genuinely want to treat all others with respect and love.

This is a fine line for any of us to walk.  On the one hand, Jesus was loving to everyone, even though they certainly weren’t always loving or respectful to him.  On the other hand, he was no pushover.  He had dignity and strength, and he let others know in no uncertain terms when he did not agree with their ways.  But he was very wise in how he got his point across to others.  He used parables, spoke respectfully even though he was wronged, and did so lovingly.  He certainly didn’t care whether or not they liked him.  But he loved them.

So I have revamped my thought process.  And here it is:  I will not tolerate others treating me with disrespect, and expecting me to live by the double standard which they have set up between us, thinking they can talk to me or treat me any way they darn well please.  However, I will always love them and pray for them.  I will be kind to them when they seek me out for help or to lend an ear.  But I will always, in love and honesty, let them know I do not approve of their poor behavior toward me or others, and I will expect them to either change how they treat me or know that I am exiting their space bubble.  How’s that for dignity and strength?

Joyful Soul: A Promise Worthy of Trust is available on Amazon.com and wherever books are sold.

Visit www.JoyfulSoulOnline.com; Follow on Twitter @Laurie Mattera; Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/joyfulsoulllc

Prepare to Renew

Hello Joyfuls!  It’s never too late to start over.  And what better time for a fresh beginning than during this Easter season.  Springtime brings us renewed life!  Take some time this month to reflect on the changes you would like to see in your life, if any.  Think about your spirituality, physical well-being, emotional well-being, your intimate relationship and relationship with others, your career or educational goals, and the time you spend relaxing and re-charging.  Which areas are fine just the way they are?  Which areas need a “do-over”?

Once you have decided which areas you would like to improve, begin setting goals.  And write them down! Extent research tells us that we have a better chance of achieving our goals if we write down how and when we will accomplish them.  So get out a paper and pen (a favorite notebook, perhaps?) and start writing.  Or sit at your computer and type it all out.  Either way, make a plan for yourself.  Create small steps that will take you to your goal.  Then prepare to make changes, little by little, until you have accomplished what you set out to do.  Nothing written on paper will do any good unless you take action! Also, pray over these goals, and watch what happens when you allow the Creator of the Universe to help you follow through and see them to completion.

Whenever I’ve done this, I’ve been amazed when I go back to read over my previous goals.  I usually find that I have accomplished them plus more!  Keep at it, and keep growing and improving.  Starting over is a blessing! And there is JOY in the journey.

Would you like help with new beginnings?  Visit Joyful Soul, LLC to make an appointment with me, or email me at DrMattera@JoyfulSoulOnline.com for more information.

Prayer and Meditation

From Chapter Two of Joyful Soul: A Promise Worthy of Trust (Copyright 2013 by Laurie Mattera)

We live in a busy and hectic world.  I don’t know about you, but many times I get to the end of my day thinking, “I had planned to accomplish so much more today, if only I had more than twenty-four hours in a day!”  And no matter how much I plan and organize and motivate myself, there is always more to do.   As a result, I was often under the impression that to take 20 minutes out of my day in the morning and another 20 minutes later in the day for prayer and meditation was not possible.  Worse, I sometimes believed it was a waste of my time, which is already a priceless commodity to me.  And so I soldiered on, depleting myself and continuing to run non-stop on what I can only liken to a hamster wheel.  I had an intuitive sense of needing to stop for a while each day and recharge.  I always had God on my mind, praying to Him for guidance but splitting my attention between my tasks at hand and longing to connect with God.  Occasionally, I would set time aside to pray and meditate on my best course of action for the day.  Those times always left me feeling peaceful and recharged.  Even though I did not get specific answers all the time to my dilemma of the moment, I emerged stronger and refreshed, at peace, and knowing an answer would come.  Continue reading “Prayer and Meditation”

How do you choose a career path?

Hello Joyful Souls!  One of the things I can tell you for sure from my years of career consulting, is that you need to find a good “fit” for yourself when contemplating a career path or career to study while in college or trade school.  You will want to take time to reflect on your values, interests, personality traits and talents.  Where do these four overlap?  If you can find a profession that offers you a bit of each one that fits for you, you will most likely be very happy in your career choice.  Keep in mind though that at times, interests can override talents (this will mean you will have to plug along a bit more to keep up with colleagues) and values change over the lifespan.  The most important aspect of all of this is to make an informed choice, rather than go willy-nilly into a big decision such as this.  Another key point to contemplate is what are the daily functions of the job?  Will it be a good fit for you in that respect?  I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts on this topic.  And please, feel free to set an appointment with me if you would like help in figuring out the best path for you!  Be Joyful ~ Laurie

Today’s AOF: Your relationship!

Hello Joyful Souls!  Today let’s focus on your relationship with your intimate partner.  This is taken from Chapter Five of my book, “Joyful Soul: A Promise Worthy of Trust”:

You don’t even have to agree to do it together or talk about it…just start loving your partner and believing they love you, trusting your partner and being trustworthy, respecting your partner and expecting respect, and fostering the friendship between you.  Watch Joyful miracles happen.
~Dr. Laurie Mattera

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